Attack of the Killer… Bee?

One of the benefits of working on a college campus, and one as beautiful as FSU (shameless plug – our campus is really stunning!), is the ability to have lunch outside during the summer. Today was that perfect day. I had my kindle in one hand, my lunch in another, and had my sunglasses on before even making it to the front door of my office.

On this particular outing, I was determined to soak up some sunshine and take a break from the office scene. My expectations for my lunch hour were very reasonable. Find a place to sit, eat, read, and be back in time for a 1:00 meeting.

Scattered throughout campus are usually around a dozen or so adirondack chairs and I had my pick of the bunch. Wanting to work on my tan, which is more like creating one giant freckle across my shoulders, I chose a seat in the sun that I could easily move under shade if I felt myself burning up.

Now, I will preface this next experience by telling you that I fully understand that with nature come creatures of all kinds, and I like to think that by putting out my “if thee leave the bee be the bee with leave thee be” mantra that I am avoiding any and all confrontations with insects.

I had settled into the first few pages of my book, sans lunch so far, when I noticed a bee floating around the grass . No biggie. “If thee leave the bee be the bee with leave thee be”. I continued reading. It was short-lived.

There was buzzing and my cat-like reflexes my irrational hysterics that led me to drop my kindle and lunch which fell into the grass and became instantly inedible. I know what you’re thinking: “Come on. Your lunch was PROBABLY wrapped in some sort of plastic baggie, container, or otherwise. Stop being so dramatic”. This is what I had for lunch that day – a Starbucks bistro box where everything is portioned out and in one container covered by a plastic top attached with a flimsy sticker that says “I am overpriced and have unrealistically small portions. Sucker” “More Delicious Options”. This box had slices of cheese, flax-seed crackers, apple quarters, and some trail mix. One tumble and that container opened up like a jack-in-the-box.

*Snickering.* Three University faculty members had also decided to relax outside and just witnessed my insect debacle. You know when you can FEEL the embarrassment on your face? I turned back to my kindle and lunch, which I fumbled with in picking up out of the grass, and decided it was time to go back to the office.

Anyone else might have dumped their lunch in the trash and ordered take out, but being on a budget will make  a person do some questionable things. This includes picking the grass off my brie and dusting my crackers of sand to choke down what was left. Unfortunately, for me and my stomach, the apples and trail mix didn’t make it.

The saddest part? I am not even sure the catalyst for this was even a bee. #reality #RIPapples #alfrescodiningisoverrated

– Alice


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